Are you sick of hearing your own story yet ?
Divorce is a very traumatic time, but if we are not careful we can allow it to define us !
I know I did, I wasted 8 years………..It can consume our every thought, trigger over reaction in life and it can impact the people around us who can tire from the negativity draining their energy.
If we allow our thoughts to constantly be consumed with negativity, resentment, bitterness, anger, or constant sadness it can spiral into depression as we lose hope for a happy future. It can almost become our normal daily behaviour that we are becoming use to, almost feel comforted in our own misery which is being justified by being the victim of divorce that ruined our life.
We can perceive everything that happens on a daily basis as negative and overreact to it, almost lashing out to try and regain some power we have lost. This only makes us feel worse wondering why we ended up where we have and what we could have done to prevent the whole divorce even happening, wishing for our old life back so we can stop living this nightmare !
People around us will try to cheer us up, be there to listen to us when needed, support us to try and get us to look forward toward a better future, even suggesting ways to improve our situation. Unfortunately our mind set is not in a place to think there is a possibility of a happy future and that this is what life has now become. It can be so exasperating for family and friends trying to support us as they feel hopeless in their attempts to help, feel annoyed that we are not helping ourselves and until we do our life just isn’t going to change, they can feel affected as we drain their energy.
Ask yourself, are you sick of your story yet ? Have you suffered enough ? Do you want your life to change ? Well only YOU can make that happen. You need to retrain your mindset to a positive one !
On a daily basis –
Write down three positives that happened to you today. It can be as simple as – the sun was shining so I got to go for a nice walk, my neighbour waved hello to me, a puppy ran up to me for a pat
Think of a negative situation that occurred today and see the positive in it. For example, I got stuck in traffic and was late for work. The positive is that if I was 5 mins earlier I may have been in the accident ahead that caused the traffic jam or I had a toothache today but was so lucky to get an appointment so fast to gain relief.
Plan to create a happy memory on days that will be emotional for you. For example, it is your ex’s birthday tomorrow so plan to treat yourself with the same amount of money you would have spent on them or it is your anniversary next week so plan a fun night out with friends.
EVERYTIME you think of the past, say to yourself, I accept that was the past but now it’s time to let go and start afresh.
Dealing with uncertainty of life ahead, take on the mantra “what will be, will be”. Go with the flow.
Divorce isn’t the end, it’s a new beginning !