The timeframe to recover from Divorce is different for everyone but as a certified Divorce Coach I see the longest recovery times occur with those who have been cheated on!
Sometimes it can take 5+ years for them to realise they were good enough, for them to rebuild their self-worth, and be able to trust again to even contemplate dating.
The feelings of betrayal by the one you trusted with your life can be emotionally paralysing as you search for answers on what you could have done to have prevented it. You often look to yourself on what you may have done to push your partner away, look for what you could have done differently to avoid it occurring, or feel guilt that you gave your all but your marriage still failed.
STOP thinking you were the reason they cheated, the reason they left or they didn’t want to be with you because of you! They left because of them! They left for someone else because they didn’t have the courage to leave and be on their own. They left because they were unhappy, the marriage didn’t fulfil their needs any more so they decided to find it elsewhere and they sure weren’t going to take the risk of leaving until they had someone else to jump to for security. Of course everyone should take responsibility for their part in the demise of a relationship but to feel it was your fault your partner cheated is so wrong on so many levels.
The key is to rebuild your self-worth, so much so that you know someone would be lucky to have you, that’s right lucky to have you! Let’s face it, if you are pining for your old life, how it use to be, reminiscing about the good times you had together then you really need to look at the signs and red flags that you subconsciously missed or chose to ignore. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t think you’re the best thing that happened to them, who isn’t dependable being there for you through thick and thin, who doesn’t love you for who you are? You deserve better right?
Well the first step is to accept that your old life is gone and that you have suffered enough and that you aren’t going to let the cheater cheat you out of a happy future because they already cheated you out of your marriage. If you aren’t ready for change, then you are still holding onto the pain, the hurt and letting it define you. You don’t want to be a victim of your trauma, you want to be a victor of your trauma.
Rebuilding your self-worth, self-confidence and shifting to a positive mindset is crucial to seeing the opportunities to become the best version of yourself and creating your best life yet!
I specialise in helping people who have been cheated on to accelerate their recovery and rebuild their life.
If you’re ready to create an amazing life book a coaching session with me here