Have you started thinking about what your new year’s resolution might be?
Maybe you have already started to reflect over the past year and think you definitely don’t want another year like this one?
Or you may be thinking life is not fulfilling or exciting, likening it to groundhog day, same old routine!
You may feel trapped in your life and wish you could escape, but would you just be taking your problems somewhere else? Changing the scenery but not actually fixing your problems.
It’s important to know whether you can make changes where you are or whether you really need to leave your current situation and start afresh.
There may be plenty of stress, anxiety and disappointment but what is the true source of that? Is it external factors such as covid restrictions, loss of financial stability, or work pressures? If so, even if you left, those issues would still follow you right?
Is it because you have lost your connection with your partner and you wonder if there is a future in your relationship? Maybe, you are disappointed you haven’t achieved what you wanted in life and think you are running out of time as life is passing you by. Or you may feel at a loss on where to start to change your life, knowing that it can’t stay the way it is as it isn’t fulfilling so a new career, travel or hobby may help.
Are you projecting your discontentment of your life onto your partner, thinking they must be the problem because you just aren’t happy? Guess what, your unhappiness in life can stem from your unhappiness with yourself and this in turn can have a major impact on your relationship!
You may look in the mirror each morning and not like what you see. You may not like who you have become, may not feel desirable, or feel you have lost your spark.
You may hate your job and come home frustrated, stressed or feel trapped and any further pressure at home can send you off the deep end resulting in you lashing out at your partner.
You may think that you haven’t achieved all that you wanted in life and assign the blame on your partner instead of taking accountability and responsibility to change it.
No one else can make you happy except you! So, you need to take action to determine what needs to change.
What would you like your life to look like in the future?
Here are some key tips to change your life;
#1 Define the Problem – Determine what is the biggest problem in your life? Do you hate your job, feel a lack of achievement in life, unhappy with how you look or loss of connection with your partner?
#2 How does it make you feel? – Tap into your emotions to understand how the problem makes you feel. Does it make you feel stressed, burnt out, depressed, unfulfilled, dissatisfied, unworthy, unloved, unappreciated, etc?
#3 Define the Solution – For your biggest problem determine how you want your life to look in the future. Picture it in your mind. Is it doing a job you feel passionate about, doing what you have always dreamed of, reconnecting with your partner, looking healthier, feeling happy, divorce etc
#4 Define the Criteria – What do you need to make change happen?
a. New job - new skills, qualifications, experience, updated resume?
b. Reconnecting with your partner - commitment, fun, amplify your good qualities they fell in love with, see the good qualities in them, understand love languages, common interests etc
c. Divorce – accepted there is no future, tried everything to make it work, what resources are needed to be empowered, what will the emotional/financial impacts be, what preparation is required? etc
d. Healthier you – commitment, exercise, healthy eating, meditation, enough sleep, me time etc
#5 Create a Plan – what detailed actions do you need to take to make it happen, set milestone dates, track your progress, what external help do you need?
The ONLY way your life will change, is by you making it happen!
So, what will your New Year’s Resolution be?
Author - Cheryl Duffy